CHRISTMAS GRIEF

For many years, I have offered a simple reflective service before Christmas that honours the pain that some people experience at this time of year. It could be the pain from financial pressures, loneliness, family strains and more. But most often it is the recently bereaved who are dealing with the emotions of facing the first Christmas without a loved one. The service has been called "Blue Christmas" or "Longest Night" (close to the solstice), but the intent is to offer care and support to those who find Christmas a sad time.

I come by the understanding honestly. It was in the early morning hours of December 19th, 1982, when he and my mom were attending a friend's Christmas party, that my dad's heart stopped. Five days before Christmas: the funeral was on the 22nd. I have always found it hard to leap full-long into the Christmas joy.

Likely because I was away for a three-and-a-half month sabbatical, I have only conducted thirteen memorial services (so far) in 2009 (on average, it's usually closer to 20). The last three have all been sudden deaths and all for active church families. Since early November, an aneurysm, a lightning fast cancer and a stroke brought sudden and unexpected grief into three families. At 67, 33 and even 94 these people were all expected to share this Christmas with their loved ones. And yet, there is an empty place at the table and in the heart.

We trust Jim, Robyn and Jo to God's keeping and our faith assures us of their comfort and rest and peace. This same faith holds us and enlivens us, but it does not eliminate the grief.

It is okay to be sad at Christmas. I am every year!